


Wreckage

by Spunky0ne



Category: Bleach
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-07-03
Updated: 2018-07-02
Packaged: 2019-06-01 14:09:48
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,126
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15144812
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Spunky0ne/pseuds/Spunky0ne
Summary: In the ruins of Las Noches, the remaining Espadas cope with the chaos of Aizen's fall. Amidst the wreckage, Grimmjow finds a nearly dead Tesla, and heals him. But he finds that healing the body is far easier than healing the fraccion's shattered heart...mpreg





	1. Left Behind

The first thing to return to Tesla's hazy mind was the feeling of the dry desert air on his bloodied skin. He couldn't move, couldn't tell if he was breathing, or even really still alive. But the soft throb of another life force left him hopeful that his master had not died.

_Maybe it was just my usual nightmare. I had that same nightmare for so long. I tried to tell master Nnoitora about it, but he didn't want to hear. He only scolded me for caring too much, and said it was making me weak and ineffective. I have always looked up to him, always thought that he was so much wiser than me._

_But I wonder now..._

He heard a male and a female voice, but hadn't the cognizance to tell who they were, only that they were familiar. And he was sure that the male voice was not Nnoitora's.

_If it was Master Nnoitora, he would be scolding me for lying around while he had to attend to everything, himself. And he is right. I am taking too long to live or die. If Master Nnoitora is gone, I choose to go with him, but if he lives, then I must live to serve him. It is all very simple...like me._

He felt a hand slide under the back of his neck and cool liquid was brought to his lips.

"Drink this," said a female voice, "It will make you feel better and help you sleep."

He realized, then, that he was horridly thirsty, and that was why he hadn't been able to speak. So, he accepted several halting sips of the sweet liquid, then croaked out the only thing that mattered to him.

"M-master Nnoi-tora?"

There was a long pause, then a voice he finally recognized as Nel.

"You are going to be all right. You can talk when you wake again."

"B-but...!"

"Didn't you hear her?" said the male voice, snappishly, "Go to sleep, baka!"

"Are you sure you should be moving him so soon?" Nel asked softly.

"Hell yes," the male voice admonished her, "Things are falling apart. We have to go to ground for a while. You need to go find those idiot fraccion of yours and bring them to the cave."

Tesla felt a blinding shock of pain as his body was lifted, even though he could feel that the one lifting him was trying to use care. He gasped, but barely made a sound, half expecting Nnoitora's voice to scold him, and more pain that was not accidental.

"Hold still."

Tesla tried desperately to hold on to consciousness as he was removed from the battlefield and carried off. He wondered if it was weak to be happy, for the moment, that he was still alive and to feel even the dark emotion that emanated from the one carrying him. Even more comforting was the knowledge that he wouldn't simply be devoured, but would be healed...and then, he would return to know his master's fate.

_I don't feel anything from Master Nnoitora, but that has happened before, when he was badly damaged. He will be all right. He has to be!_

Tesla flinched as he felt a fingertip touch his cheek, where a tear had leaked onto it.

"Stop it, okay? The bastard doesn't deserve your sympathy. Don't you get that he never gave two shits about you?"

"D-don't...talk about...!" Tesla stammered.

"All right, fine," said the voice he finally recognized as Sexta Espada, Grimmjow Jaegerjaques.

"Grimmjow?"

"You're lucky I don't trash your ass for being so informal with me, you little demon whelp. But...I guess titles have become kinda meaningless, ne? You're lucky you don't have any idea what's going on. Believe me, little warthog, you don't wanna know."

Tesla shivered at the sound of Grimmjow's voice, the odd inflection that suggested warmth. He was sure it wasn't respectable for an Espada to talk to him like an equal, but having used his store of energy, he was unable to speak anymore. He began to lose consciousness, but was cognizant long enough to feel a cool, wet washcloth touch his face and for Grimmjow's gruff voice to reach him one last time.

"What the hell am I doing? You're probably gonna wish I'd let you die."

The darkness that followed should have been comforting, but was filled instead with Tesla's worst nightmare.

_He employed his fastest sonido, following a trail of blood in the sand, chasing over sand dunes, and through the deserted cliffs and valleys, screaming his master's name. The scent of the blood filled his nostrils, and he knew he was badly injured, but didn't care. He forced himself to run long past the ends of his strength, seeking that one source of power that sustained him...his love for that one who would only love him back if he became strong enough._

_He remembered Nnoitora's promise._

_"Right now, you are nothing. Right now, you give yourself to me, body and soul, because I am your master. If you want more than that, then get stronger. Beat me into submission and I will love you."_

_He didn't care that the words were harsh, and that they were accompanied with pain. The pain had a purpose. Nnoitora wouldn't stand for anyone weak to be close to him. So, Tesla decided that he would not be weak. He trained hard and gave everything in his service to the fifth Espada. And he learned to find the hidden warmth in the hard words, the small signs of affection, despite the painful discipline. Nnoitora was a complex person who only spoke the language of true strength. And if he was cruel to Tesla, it was because he was grooming the younger man to be like him. And those small signs of affection, here and there, reminded Tesla that Nnoitora had to work to be stronger too. He wouldn't have dared voice that little truth. He would have paid for it in blood, he knew._

_But, caught up in the nightmare he was in, he felt the distance growing between his master and him, and he ran beyond what his body could tolerate, and felt it begin to disintegrate. He collpased, at some point, but managed to crawl forward on his hands and knees, loathe to give up the search until he knew..._

"Master Nnoitora!"

He felt arms curl around him and a warm body press up against his back, then. But there was too much comfort in those arms. He wanted to throw them off, to yell at the Sexta Espada to never touch him.

_I am the property of Master Nnoitora alone!_

"Stop it," Grimmjow's low voice said, as a restraining spell immobilized him and healing reiatsu flooded his body, "I'm not letting you die."

"D-don't touch m-me!"

He could feel that Grimmjow was wearing his usual cocky grin.

"What was that, little warthog? You want me to let you go? Then, get better and _make_ me let you go. Until then, you're keeping me warm."

He hated the Sexta Espada for being so familiar with him, but having no choice, he relaxed in Grimmjow's arms and let the healing forces around him work.

_I have to heal anyway, so that I can go and find him. He has probably healed by now, and it is only that my weak, broken body cannot sense him. I am a disgrace._

"That's better."

Tesla's mind froze for a moment, as he realized that he was naked and wrapped in blankets, and that the body pressed up against his was bare as well.

_I should have known that damned cat would take advantage of me. Master Nnoitora will punish me if he has taken me. He doesn't like sharing with anyone weaker than him._

He quivered as he remembered the night Ulquiorra had come upon Nnoitora and him having sex and had asked why they enjoyed it. He hadn't been able to stop blushing or feeling the cold hands of the fourth Espada on his skin for a long time afterwards. He didn't like being touched by anyone else, but he'd had no right to refuse his master's admonishment to let Ulquiorra explore him.

But Grimmjow had no right. He was weaker than Nnoitora and shouldn't have touched him, unless he had advanced in rank. He supposed that could have happened. Several of the Espadas had fallen. But even so, as long as Master Nnoitora lived, he was stronger than Grimmjow.

"G-get away from me!"

"Aww, you gonna make me?" Grimmjow mocked him gently, "Let's see you try, asshole. Not bad, but it will be a while before you can defy me, so get used to it."

"Master Nnoitora will kill us both!"

"Your master's dead. Get used to it," Grimmjow growled, glaring so that Tesla felt unusual heat on his skin, "He died, but you're going to live. And unless you can beat me in a fight, I'm claiming you, you little snot. So, do what I tell you, or when your body can take it again, I'll beat your ass."

"He's not..."

"His guts are splattered all over the desert. He's gone."

He managed a hard, defiant scream, before the weight of his injuries stole away his breath and he collapsed, panting and sweating.

_I'll kill him for saying that!_

"That's right. Get pissed. Get really mad."

The words sounded more tired than harsh, as of one who had waited up and worried over someone they cared about. He, himself, had given in to that weakness on occasion. Somehow, seeing such a strong person as Nnoitora struggle with pain was unbearable to him. And so, he would make the master sleep, then lie down with him and dream of earning Nnoitora's respect enough that they could be equals. It would never happen, of course. He could never hope to be that strong. But, he hadn't wanted to give up being close to Nnoitora, even though the master mocked closeness and camaraderie. Such things approached reliance, and so they would never be acceptable to him.

Tesla stirred in his sleep, finally feeling like he could move again. That other warm body was still wrapped around his, and he could feel Grimmjow's hot erection burning the skin of his lower back.

"Let go of me," he snapped, starting to tear free.

He sucked in a surprised breath as he was flipped onto his back and Grimmjow's body pinned his.

"What was that?" the Sexta Espada asked, glaring down at him, "You want something?"

"I want you to get off of me, you thieving bastard! You have no right to touch me! Get off!"

"Sorry," Grimmjow said, without a hint of remorse, "If I get off of you, then your body's going to fall apart. You're barely held together right now. So, shut up, rest, eat and drink. That's all you have the strength to do...and that's asking a lot."

"I hate you!" Tesla hissed viciously, "Master Nn...!"

"He's dead."

"He isn't. You're lying."

"You can feel it now. You have enough ability to sense it. You just don't want to. I get it. You were in love with him."

Tesla wasn't sure how it happened, but somehow, he delivered a stinging slap to the Sexta Espada's face, making pain lance through his healed hand and bringing a flush to the skin of Grimmjow's cheek. He stared, dumbstruck into the ice blue eyes as anger flashed in them, but Grimmjow restrained himself from returning the blow.

"You have to hit a lot harder than that, if you want to make your point," Grimmjow said bitingly, "Why don't you argue the point? You can't, can you. You were in love with him."

Grimmjow caught his wrist as he tried to strike at him agian.

"Stop it. You can't do anything to me. You're not strong enough. Get stronger and try again."

Tesla just let his worn body collapse onto the bed again, his brown eyes distant and trying to ignore the hands that followed the curves of his naked body, infusing it with healing power and soothing him.

"Why are you doing this? Did Nel force you to...?"

"Hey, no one _forces_ me to do anything, little warthog."

"Stop calling me that!"

"That's your source of power," Grimmjow said, turning him and pressing up against Tesla's bare back again, resting his cheek on the wounded Fraccion's, "You should be proud to be called that. It's a strong form, one of the strongest left."

"What?"

"Come on. You know Nnoitora's been stringing you along. You were strong enough to become an Espada a long time ago. Not that it matters now, with everything shot to hell, but I plan to make use of that power."

"Do you mean that I must serve you?" Tesla asked, his reiatsu swelling warningly, "I would rather die."

"Yeah, I saw that," Grimmjow said, smirking, "You tried really hard to die. I'll give you that. But, seeing as how you failed and I kept you alive against your will, you belong to me now. What I say goes. And I say that you are going to become as strong as me."

"I am already as strong as you!"

"Yeah, you look it," Grimmjow said sarcastically, "Fine, when you prove you can beat me in a fight, then I will free you, and I will stop calling you little warthog. How's that?"

"Get away from me!"

"No, I don't think so," Grimmjow said, moving his hips and teasing the younger Arrancar with his hungry, engorged member, "I've been wrapped around you for days, keeping you from dying. And even if you didn't want to be saved, you lost to me, so you have to serve me, right?"

"Erm..." Tesla said, blushing brightly, his heart pounding as Grimmjow's hand slid down the bare, white flesh of his belly and stopped, just short of his own inflamed erection.

He swallowed hard as Grimmjow loosed a laugh and sank into his mouth, giving Tesla a momentary respite from his feelings of weakness.

"Fool, I'm not going to rape you. I think you'd come apart if we had sex right now. I would like it, though, if you would touch me a little. I think we're both going to be lonely for a while, as I've lost my fraccion and you've lost your master."

"I will believe Master Nnoitora is gone when I see for myself," Tesla said stubbornly, "And you can use your own hand if you want pleasure!"

"You're kinda cute when you resist," Grimmjow chuckled, "It's good to have someone around who can make me laugh, little warthog. Now...how about you touch me?"

"No."

"Okay, but you are going to be sorry."

Tesla scowled.

"I thought you said that you wouldn't rape me!" he objected hotly.

"I won't," Grimmjow said, smirking and rubbing his hardness against Tesla's round bottom, "But I'm not going to get blue balls, just because you want to lie here, naked and teasing me."

"I...I didn't choose to be naked, and...!"

His breath was taken away as Grimmjow's mouth found his, over a pale shoulder, and his blazing, feisty tongue invaded the fraccion's mouth. He rubbed harder against Tesla, resting his head on the younger hollow's shoulder.

"Now, I can just get myself off, or I can give you a little pleasure too," Grimmjow purred in his ear, "Which will it be?"

Tesla tried to turn his head away, but had it captured and turned back, then invaded again.

"I thought you'd see things my way."

"I d-don..."

His words left off in a dismayed gasp as Grimmjow's hand captured his awakening erection and began to stroke it.

"Go ahead," Grimmjow said in an unusually soft tone, breathed into his ear, "If it makes you feel better, think about him. It's okay to miss him, even though he was a complete prick. You loved him, and, in his way, Nnoitora loved you too. You need to deal with that. Now that your body's on the mend, it's time to start fixing the rest of you."

Grimmjow turned him onto his back, and looked down into his tormented eyes for a moment, making him blush as turn his head away. He gave a soft inhale as the Sexta Espada's hand brushed his eyes closed, and warm fingers caressed his hungry cock more insistently.

"What are you...?"

"Shhh, just go there. Let your mind do what it needs to. I'll be here when you come back."

The words brought back a previous time, a time before he had been bonded to Nnoitora...when the sound of Grimmjow's voice had made him smile, and the touch of his hand had made his heart race.

_But that was before._

_It was before he took me from you and made me his._

_That's why, isn't it?_

_That's why I really hated you._

_Master Nnoitora defeated you and took me away from you, all of those years ago. He raped me over and over, telling me he could only do it because you were too weak to stop him and take me back. You weren't strong enough to keep me, and you've never been strong enough to take me back. And I vowed never to forgive you._

_And I never will._

He reeled as Grimmjow's fingers moved inside him, stimulating his sensitive prostate. Then the Sexta Espada looked down into his dazed eyes.

"Who is your master, Tesla?"

Tesla held a defiant pose for all of a few moments, then crumbled.

"I belong to you," he whispered tonelessly, "You are my master now."

"No," said Grimmjow, "Guess again."

"What?" asked Tesla, blinking.

"I'm freeing you. You are your own master now," the blue-haired Espada told the stunned fraccion, "Now, do you want me to make love to you or not? Choose."

He stared, stunned into those ice-blue eyes.

"But I thought you said that I had to beat you, first."

"Heh, I think you and I are both a little too trashed to fight. Don't you agree? We'll fight later. And we'll keep fighting each other until you win. But, I don't want you feeling like a servant anymore. Nnoitora held you back."

"No! He made me strong!" Tesla objected.

"Don't you understand?" Grimmjow chided him, "He knew you were growing in strength, so he used that mental bullshit to warp your mind. You're a strong Arrancar now. You haven't needed to be his fraccion for a while, but he played with your head, so that you wouldn't realize. Now, I asked you to choose! What's it gonna be?"

Tesla's lips tightened.

"I am not doing _anything_ with you! You aren't worthy to touch what isn't yours!"

Grimmjow surprised him, by laughing and turning him back onto his belly.

All right, we won't make love, then, little warthog. But, I still need relief from the hard on you gave me. So, be a friend and help me out here."

"Grimmjow!" Tesla seethed, "Get off!"

"Okay, give me a sec," the Sexta Espada teased, rubbing against his bottom and reaching down to pleasure him, "I'm pretty close already. You still have a really nice ass, you know."

"Grimmjow!" the fraccion yelled, blushing, "Stop it! Stop!"

"Oh, no way," the blue-haired hollow said, in a deeper, huskier tone.

His hand moved, making Tesla too breathless to speak. Nnoitora had never tried to attend to his pleasure, although sometimes inadvertently granting it. To be touched directly, with intent made him go weak. He closed his eyes as pleasure flooded his body, and he felt Grimmjow's hot breath on the back of his shoulder.

He felt Grimmjow bite down on his throat, then splashes of hot fluid struck his back. Grimmjow's warm weight settled next to him, and Tesla could almost swear the other hollow emitted a feline purr.

"Welcome back, little warthog. I'm sorry that you had to be with him for so long. I promise I'll make it up to you."

"Shut up and leave me alone," Tesla said, not quite able to put any force behind the words.

"Go to sleep, now. Tomorrow, we're getting you back on your feet."

He tried to utter a sharp retort, but reeled as a flood of calming reiatsu seeped into his body, making his mind go into a long, winding spin. The last things he felt were Grimmjow's naked body pressing up against his back and a soft kiss on the shell of a blushing ear.


	2. End of Subservience

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grimmjow works to undo the damage done to Tesla's mind by Nnoitora.

"Oh!" Tesla gasped, his chest heaving as he took a pained, ragged breath and tried to move.

He was inwardly glad that whatever restraining method Grimmjow had used during the night had been withdrawn, and as much as it hurt, he could slowly sit up. Instantly, more pain shocked his recovering body, making him grunt in agony and bend forward slightly. Stars danced in front of his eyes, even when he closed them, so he slowed his breathing and waited patiently for them to disappear. Gradually, it hurt less to move, and he managed to crawl to where a tall, full length mirror had been placed near the bed. He looked into the mirror, examining his bruised face and naked, crouched form. He startled as a yukata was dropped onto his back, and fresh waves of pain jolted him inside.

"Good, you're out of bed. C'mon, stand up," Grimmjow said, taking Tesla's trembling hand in his and helping him to his feet, "Put some clothes on before you make someone want to rape you."

"Let go of me!" Tesla snapped, pulling free of Grimmjow and nearly falling.

He picked up his yukata, where it had fallen on the floor, then wrapped it around his emaciated body. Then, he took a step back from Grimmjow, who crossed his arms and grinned good naturedly at his former associate.

"You look a lot better," he commented, "better enough to start helping out around here. You can start by pouring the two of us some of the tea Nel made. She's getting our plates ready. Lunch will be ready in a few minutes.

"I'm not...hungry."

"Bullshit," Grimmjow said sternly, "You're fading away into nothing. Now get your little, warty ass in there and make us some tea!"

Tesla turned his head and spat in the Sexta Espada's direction as Grimmjow disappeared out the door.

" _Bastard_!" he seethed.

He looked in the direction that Grimmjow had gone, then looked out the exterior doorway of the dwelling they were in, casting his senses about and focusing in the direction of Las Noches.

_I should be able to sense him. Maybe I am still just too weak. I need to get closer._

He glanced again in the direction Grimmjow had gone, thinking quietly, then forcing himself into sonido. A surprised gasp escaped him, both at the splinters of intense pain the attempt caused in his spirit centers and the fact that, not only did he fail to achieve added speed, he stumbled over his own injured feet and fell on his face on the sand, just outside the door.

"That's not the way to the kitchen, baka," Grimmjow said dryly, standing over him and looking down at him disapprovingly.

"I was just..."

"I know what you were 'just' doing," the sexta Espada assured him, "No question about that. But I'm not letting you run off and get yourself killed. As you noticed, your spirit centers aren't exactly functional right now, so you don't have sonido, or any of your powers. Get this through your thick skull, Tesla. You are healing right now, and you aren't going anywhere."

"But Master Nnoitra..."

"The fucker's DEAD! Do you get it? Dead, as in, not living anymore. You know, I can see that you don't want to accept that. But sorry, you're gonna have to. And if you're just going to keep trying to run off to find out what we already told you, then I have no damned choice, but to take you there, myself!"

"N-no, stop! What are you doing, you bastard!" Tesla cried, beating his hands against the blue-haired Espada as Grimmjow's sonido engaged and the desert began to fly by, "Let me down!"

"Grimmjow!" cried Nel, her widened eyes staring as the two disappeared into the distance.

The toddler hollow released a sad sigh and shook her head as she turned back into the small dwelling to wait for their return.

"What was that, Master Nel?" asked Dondachakka, looking off into the distance, where a swirl of sand had risen under Grimmjow's feet.

"I think that someone's getting a little reality check," said Pesche, shaking his head, "Poor kid's taking it pretty hard, huh?"

"Yes," Nel agreed, "But I think he will be all right if Grimmjow isn't too harsh with him."

"Fat chance of that," chortled Pesche, "Eh, sorry."

"Hmm," Nel sighed, looking worriedly off into the distance.

The desert turned into a blur around Grimmjow and Tesla as the former used his fastest sonido to carry them across the sand, away from Grimmjow's house and back to the area near Las Noches, where both had fallen in battle only days before. They scented the dusty hints of old blood and rotting flesh as they passed the hulking remains of Yammy Riyalgo's slowly diminishing body and kept moving swiftly. Grimmjow only slowed when he spotted the place still marked with their blood. The sand had clotted and dried again with the sticky mess, but although there were plenty of signs of the fighting and that someone must have died, there were no more bodies.

"He isn't here!" Tesla cried, looking around frantically, "You see, he must have..."

Scowling, Grimmjow grabbed the younger man's hand and brought it down to touch the scorched sand that Nnoitra's blood had splattered onto. He forced a flicker of reiatsu through the fraccìon's trembling hand.

"No, you see? His reiatsu disappeared here. There wasn't much to him but skin and bones, the way he kept you."

"Master Nnoitra said that we must not make ourselves too heavy to fight. We kept our bodies lean so that we would be faster!" Tesla exclaimed, "And he didn't die here! Someone must have come here and..."

"Look!" Grimmjow yelled, gripping Tesla's head and turning it so that the younger man could see Yammy again, "If no one came to take him away, no one came for that guy. Get it?"

"No! He...he must have crawled away or...or...!"

"The son of a bitch is DEAD! Do you get it? He's dead, Tesla! Get it through your thick skull!"

"NO!" Tesla sobbed, sagging against Grimmjow and starting to collapse, "He's not. He c-can't be!"

The overwhelmed Arrancar descended into a storm of heavy sobs, his hands sometimes pushing, sometimes pulling and the fingers tearing, but sometimes seeming to hold on for dear life as the grief poured out of him. Grimmjow went silent, holding the younger man's shaking boy tightly and watching solemnly until Tesla's reiatsu flared fitfully and raged, but quickly began to flicker and lose its strength.

"C'mon, stop it, Tesla," Grimmjow said in a lower, more sympathetic tone, "I get that you were completely devoted to him. It was the only thing you could do to survive when that bastard stole you away from me. You were just trying to survive, and he knew just how to twist your mind so that you'd be completely dependent on him. But you have to break yourself out of that. You have to do that, Tesla, or you really are gonna die!"

"AND WHAT DO YOU CARE IF I DO DIE, YOU BASTARD!" Tesla screamed, "YOU LET HIM TAKE ME AWAY FROM YOU AND NEVER CAME BACK FOR ME, EVEN WHEN NNOITRA ADMITTED TO ME THAT YOU WERE STRONGER! YOU GAVE UP ON ME! I HATE YOU FOR THAT! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!"

He beat his fists against Grimmjow's chest furiously, until the pain of moving became too burdensome and he finally collapsed on the sand, panting and shaking. Grimmjow held him silently, waiting until he was sure the fight had gone out of the other hollow, then ran his fingers through the Arrancar's light colored hair and kissed him on the forehead.

"I'm sorry, okay? I know sorry doesn't make up for shit, but if you want to know why I didn't take you back once I could have, I'll be honest. It wasn't because I stopped loving you."

"Then, why?" Tesla asked weakly, rubbing his eyes and looking up at Grimmjow with a devastated expression, "Why didn't you come back?"

"Because by then, I thought it was too late," Grimmjow confessed softly, "By then, I thought that even if I killed him and took you back, I would only hurt you more than you already had been. Shit, look at the mess you are now. It would have been even worse than this if I was the one who killed him. I swear, I just didn't want you to be hurt anymore. But you got hurt anyway, and I'm sorry. You can hate me if you want. I deserve it. But Tesla, look, even if you have to hate me, do one thing for me...live. Keep on living, because if you die, then I gave up on you for nothing."

Grimmjow knelt in the sand, holding Tesla against him as the former fraccìon descended into soft, heartbroken sobs.

"It's gonna be okay now. I promise. And this time, Tesla, no one's gonna take you away from me. No matter what happens, I'm gonna be there for you. So, let me take you home, okay?"

Tesla wiped his eyes and nodded briefly, looping his arms around the blue-haired man's shoulders as he was lifted off of the sand. Grimmjow carried him back across the desert slowly, glad for the darkness that had returned to the area after Aizen's fall. Tesla rested his head on the sexta Espada's warm shoulder, gazing quietly up at the stars and crescent moon.

"Looking up there," Grimmjow said softly, "You can almost forget, you know? It's almost like that son of a bitch never came here and fucked with our heads. You remember how peaceful it could be when we'd lay out on the dunes near the old fortress and make love under stars like these? We didn't think about fighting so much as just being. Maybe we weren't trying to be great or powerful, but we were happy."

"I was happy before, too, Grimmjow," Tesla said softly, "I was happy being with you like that. Sometimes, when we'd make love, I would stay awake after and think about the stories I heard about the soul who have hearts, how they beat fast when people make love. I wondered what it would be like to have a heart that would beat like that. I used to put my head on your chest and pretend I could hear yours."

Grimmjow let Tesla down onto his feet as they reached the small house where Nel waited.

"Where were Grimmjow and Tesla?" she asked in a small voice, "Nel was scared. Nel wanted to cry."

"Eh, don't start all of that. We were just...taking a walk, okay?"

"Okay."

Nel looked up at Tesla, who gave her a shaky smile in return.

"Is Tesla feeling better now? Grimmjow wasn't too harsh, was he?"

"No," Tesla said quietly, "Grimmjow wasn't harsh. He only wanted me to understand that M-master...th-that Nnoitra isn't coming back."

Nel patted the blonde Arrancar's hand gently.

"It's okay," she assured him, "Tesla can be one of Nel's fraccìon if he wants to, so that he won't be lonely."

"That's very kind of you," Tesla said, more calmly, "but..."

"Tesla's not gonna be anyone's fraccìon anymore," Grimmjow said firmly, "As soon as he's healed, he's gonna train so he'll be judged strong enough to be an Espada, like us."

Nel's face was made over instantly into a huge smile.

"That's great!" she shouted, "Nel's so happy!"

She hugged the bemused Tesla, then ran inside, calling out to her fraccìon.

"Tesla's gonna be an Espada! Tesla's gonna be an Espada!" she yelled.

"You've got yourself a cheerleader," Grimmjow chuckled, "And that's saying something, because Nel's stronger than both of us, and if she's convinced you can do it, then it's a pretty sure thing."

"Yeah," Tesla said, looking down at his thin, bruised and bandaged body, "Well, that's great, but I still have a long way to go."

"You'll get there, little warthog," Grimmjow said, ruffling his hair and earning a scowl, "C'mon, let's eat."

They started towards the kitchen, but Tesla paused, just inside, reeling as dizziness overtook him and he dropped to his knees, groaning uncomfortably. Grimmjow swept him up and carried him back to bed, laying him down, then leaving him with a kiss on the solemn lips and an admonition not to 'run off.' Tesla sat quietly, with his hands folded in his lap, breathing slowly and trying to get the stars in front of his eyes to go away again. They disappeared slowly, and by the time Grimmjow returned bearing a tray of food, the injured Arrancar was able to eat and drink a small amount. He leaned against Grimmjow's shoulder afterwards, looking out into the darkness with distant eyes.

"You okay?" Grimmjow asked.

"I will be," Tesla answered softly, "Thank you."

"You've got nothing to thank me for."

"I know, but...thank you for not letting me die."

"Well, don't be too grateful, because I did it more for me than you. See, once you're all better, I'm gonna make love to you every night."

"No, you're not!" Tesla laughed, shoving the blue-haired man away, "Who says I want you to make love to me?"

"Oh, playing hard to get now?" Grimmjow asked, smirking, "Sounds like little warthog's getting too big for his britches. I'm gonna have to take you down a peg or two."

He grabbed Tesla's blonde hair and yanked him into a forceful kiss. He froze as he realized that, for the first time since returning to him that Tesla hadn't fought the contact. The two gazed into each other's eyes for several long, silent moments, then Tesla leaned forward and met the blue-haired Espada for a longer, open-mouthed kiss. He moved forward onto Grimmjow's lap, spreading his thighs and biting at his lip as he tried to capture Grimmjow's awakening arousal.

"Hey, knock it off," Grimmjow breathed affectionately in his ear, "No way are you in good enough shape for that."

"I don't care," Tesla whispered back, "I want you."

"Tesla..."

The blonde Arrancar's warm mouth stole away his objections as Tesla, held onto his tightly, kissing him and taking him slowly inside.

"Baka!" Grimmjow panted, "You sh-shouldn't...!"

He grabbed Tesla's slim, round bottom and kept its motions slow and gentle. He wrapped an arm around the slighter hollow, infusing his injured back with healing power as they made love.

"You're crazy," Grimmjow whispered, gazing into Tesla's sad eyes and kissing him until the dark emotion went out of them and his lips curved into a small smile.

Tesla's writhing motions slowed as the pleasure inside him mounted and slowly overcame him. He rested his head on Grimmjow's shoulder, his head spinning madly and the bright stars exploding in his head as he climaxed. He barely felt the other man's hot release as it flooded him inside, and sent him spinning away into unconsciousness.

"I told you it was too soon, Tesla," Grimmjow panted softly, laying him on his side and curling around him.

He continued to infuse the other hollow with healing reiatsu as Tesla slept more peacefully in his arms.

"I'm glad Aizen's gone. And even though it might piss you off, I'm glad Nnoitra's gone too. Now, we can go back to what we were like before. It was good, Tesla, and it's gonna be good again. You'll see. I'm going to make you happy. And I'm gonna keep you safe this time."


	3. Dawning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Despite his feelings for Grimmjow, Tesla strikes out on his own.

_He smells good._

_Grimmjow always did smell good. He washes himself every day. Master...Nnoitra said that we shouldn't cover up our natural scent, that it was more prideful to be ourselves and be proud, but the truth is that we smelled bad. Sometimes I felt sick because of how bad we smelled, but he was master and I was..._

_I was nothing to him._

Tesla couldn't muster any more tears to cry over the hard fact, so he burrowed deeper into Grimmjow's shoulder and breathed in the sexta Espada's attractive, clean masculine scent.

_I must smell horrible._

He studied Grimmjow for a moment, then moved experimentally, smiling as he discovered that his lover hadn't changed in how deeply he slept.

_I always told him someone would probably kill him in his sleep, he slept so deeply. He said that's why he needed me...to guard him. I told him I'd rather kill him myself and he laughed really hard._

_I've almost forgotten what it feels like to laugh._

He worked his way free of Grimmjow and escaped the bed, slipping past Nel and her fraccìon, then into the bathroom, where he turned on the hot water, marveling at seeing water up close like that again, then sighing contentedly as he disrobed and climbed in under the hot spray. He picked up the musky smelling soap and scrubbed himself all over, making his skin red with the effort, but needing to feel the past stripped away from where it had tarnished and sullied him. When he was clean, he remained under the hot fall of water, closing his eyes and breathing in the wet steam.

He never heard the approaching footsteps, nor saw Grimmjow peek around the curtain, before stepping in behind him and startling him as he wrapped his arms around the flustered Arrancar and kissed him on the back of the neck.

"Oh man, you've really done it," the sexta Espada sighed sleepily.

"What? What are you talking about?" Tesla snapped, "I just woke up and wanted a shower! What's wrong with that?"

"What's wrong with that?" Grimmjow drawled lazily, reaching down to tease his former subordinate's waking privates, "What's wrong with it is that when my little warthog cleans up, he looks and smells too damned sexy for his own good. Do you really think you can tease me like that and not get the daylights fucked outta you?"

"Stop it! I wasn't trying to seduce you, you fool! I was just bathing!"

Grimmjow laughed softly into his shoulder, rubbing warmly against him.

"You never did have to try very hard to arouse me," he mused, "Truth is, you didn't have to try at all. And you still don't."

Tesla tried to maintain his scowl, but couldn't hold back the small, pleased smile that rose on his lips as Grimmjow turned him and sank indulgently into his mouth, caressing his privates as they kissed.

"Mmmmmmmmm, you taste real good too," the sexta Espada sighed, nipping at his lips and rubbing his hands over the Arrancar's round bottom, "I think I might just forget making love to you and just devour you right here."

Still smiling, Tesla broke away from his mouth and trailed a line of kisses down his collarbone, then stunned his former flame by sliding down his wet torso, yielding more biting kisses, then kneeling in front of him and attending dutifully to Grimmjow's swollen cock. He made a sound of deep contentment as Grimmjow's rough fingers threaded into his hair, encouraging him in his movements, then holding him in place as the sexta Espada growled and climaxed violently.

_He tastes good too._

_I missed you so much, Grimmjow._

_Even though I hated you for not saving me, I still missed you._

_But it wasn't fair for me to hate you. After all, how could I fault you for being weaker than Nnoitra when I was even weaker than that? I'll make up for it now. I'll grow strong again and I'll..._

Tesla paused, a shiver going through him as he encountered a harsh, painful flashback.

_"I knew you were up to some bullshit, you little, stinking pig!" Nnoitra raged, drawing back and striking him forcefully, so that he tumbled backwards and crashed through the rock behind him, "You think fucking around with your body like that? Tricking me? You think that's going to make me feel anything for you? Well, let me tell you, it's not! And I'm not letting this happen. I'll knock the brat out of you if one's in there! And I'll kill you if you ever pull shit like this again! You hear me, Tesla?"_

_"M-master Nnoitra, s-stop! Stop, please! I'm...I'm sorry! I promise it will never happen again! Master Nnoitra, stop! Please stop!"_

_"This is it. I'm putting an end to it."_

_"NO, PLEASE, DON'T!"_

_"Master Nnoitra," said a calm, unaffected voice from outside the bedroom door, "You must come. The ryoka are coming."_

_Nnoitra shoved him back against the wall, glaring down into his eyes hatefully._

_"After this is over, if you really are knocked up, we're getting rid of it, you hear me?"_

_"Y-yes," Tesla whispered, sagging against the wall, "Of...of course. I'm very, very sorry for doing that, Master Nnoitra. Please...please forgive me."_

_"Come on," the Espada snapped, "Let's go."_

"Hey, you all right?" Grimmjow purred in his ear, "You stopped moving for a minute. It felt like you even stopped breathing."

Tesla's hand slid down to touch his abdomen questioningly.

_I wonder if it worked before._

_I wonder if it didn't and when Grimmjow and I..._

"Hey, you listening?"

"Y-yes, sorry," Tesla mumbled, picking up the soap and rubbing it into Grimmjow's soft flesh.

_I have been sick and dizzy since I woke, but that could as well be the injury. I suppose there's no knowing for a little while. And I'm not sure I want to know. Nnoitra was furious when he learned that I had Szayel Aporro alter me so that I could carry Nnoitra's child. Grimmjow is different, but he might not understand._

_No, he probably would think I was being desperate and pathetic, trying to trap him or something. That's what Nnoitra thought._

_It's better to be quiet about it and wear a protection charm when we have sex. Yes, that's what I'll do._

_But what if...?_

He sucked in a surprised breath as Grimmjow suddenly swept him off his feet and carried him, soaking wet, out of the shower and back to the bedroom, throwing him roughly down on the bed and climbing on top of him.

"Wh-what are you doing?" Tesla managed breathlessly, "We didn't even...!"

His words were stopped by a savage kiss that left him unable to speak, even after it ended. Grimmjow's hands held him tightly and his movements were insistent, but rather than feeling like he was being forceful, they felt passionate, something Tesla couldn't ever remember feeling when Nnoitra would take him.

_The truth is, I always understood on some level that Nnoitra enjoyed being cruel, and that even though technically what we were doing was something loving, there was never any love in what he did to me. And he didn't only abuse me, himself, he let Ulquiorra play with me and Szayel Aporro use me for his experiments. I knew what was happening, but I didn't want to. I think that's why I became so desperate to make Nnoitra feel something. I thought that if he couldn't feel something for me, he would definitely love his own child. But he was too selfish to even do that much._

_I wonder how Grimmjow would feel. I wasn't trying to be impregnated by him. I was recovering and wasn't thinking clearly at all. But I am thinking clearly now. I should...I should stop him._

But there was no stopping that hungry mouth that seemed to devour every inch of him, or the strong hands that wanted to touch him all over. There was no stopping Grimmjow at all as he prepared Tesla's writhing body and entered him, then made everything around them disappear into a flurry of powerful thrusts and mindless undulations. Tesla felt warmed to the core, finally brought fully back to life as Grimmjow stiffened on top of him and looked into his weary eyes as he released. The wonderful heat lulled Tesla back easily back into senselessness.

But as soon as Grimmjow slept deeply enough, he crept from the bed and found the protection charm Nnoitra had forced him to wear after his deception.

_I wonder if it's too late anyway. I wouldn't mind if it was Grimmjow's baby, but if it was 'his' I don't know what I would do. And what would Grimmjow think, either way? Ah..._

He sat down on the walkway outside the bedroom door, looking into the endless night.

_The one thing I did like about Aizen's time here was that the sun lit up this place sometimes. There was a 'day' and a 'night' like in Soul Society and the living world._

_I want to go there...anywhere that's not here, really._

_I want to go now._

He looked back over his shoulder at the dark, quiet house and felt his decision being made.

_I don't think I could bear letting myself fall all of the way in love with Grimmjow again, only to lose him if I am carrying Nnoitra's baby. And I wouldn't know how to tell him even if the baby might be his. I'll just go away somewhere and wait until I know one way or the other and decide what to do then. I just need a quiet place where no one knows who I am._

He stood and looked back at the house one more time, then walked back and left a note by Grimmjow's bed.

_Grimmjow, thank you for saving my life and seeing to my healing. It was good being close to you again. I haven't gone on some pathetic search for Nnoitra. I know he is dead. I just need to work things out for myself. Please thank Nel and the others too. I would have died without all of your help and I am glad now to still be alive. I will come back to you if I can. Tesla_

He walked back out into the darkness and moved away from the house before opening a garganta. Listening silently to the echoing tapping his feet made on the pathway, he headed for the living world and the one person there who might be willing to help him. He only hadn't anticipated how quickly he would tire, and as he moved forward, he grew swiftly more weary and dizzy. He was unsure whether he reached the exit he meant to, and he fell out of the garganta and down onto a rough, sandy surface, collapsing instantly as he touched down. He heard the sound of surprised voices, then heard footsteps and felt himself being turned over. He forced out the name of the person he was looking for, then fell again into blackness.

"K-kisuke Urahara!"

The shopkeeper stared in surprise at the Arrancar's words, then studied him quietly for a moment before nodding briefly.

"You found me," he said solemnly, "Now, what to do with you."

"Boss, is that...an Espada?"

"I'm not sure," Kisuke admitted, "His spirit centers are well developed, but his body's thrashed. I wonder why he came to me."

"What should we do with him?" Tessai asked, frowning.

"Well, we'll take his sword for now and I think restraints are in order until we know he's not intending harm. I don't think he is, but it's best to be careful. Hey, is Orihime still upstairs?"

"Yes."

"Let's have her give him some attention, okay?"

Tesla felt his body being gently lifted and carried upward. Then, he was laid in a soft, sinfully comfortable bed and healing laid over him that took all of the residual pain out of his strained form and left him sleeping comfortably. He registered the soft restraints they placed on him, but felt no fear or concern.

_Of course they would restrain me. We are usually enemies. I understand._

He sank more deeply into sleep, only coming partially awake as Kisuke Urahara returned to examine him again. He felt the man's hands touch him all over, searching for any unaddressed injuries, then pausing over his abdomen.

"Hmmm, interesting," the shopkeeper commented.

Tesla opened his eyes and looked up at Kisuke.

"Ah, you're awake," the shopkeeper noted, "You...said when you arrived you were looking for me?"

"Yes," Tesla confessed, "I thought that you might not instantly attack me, so I asked for you."

"Are you an Espada?" Kisuke asked.

"No, but I am training to be one," Tesla admitted, "Now that most of the other Espadas have died, I am expected to advance."

"Right. Okay, but why did you come here? Why were you looking for me?"

"I just wanted to get out of Hueco Mundo," Tesla explained, "and I also needed to know something."

He looked down at where Kisuke's hand still rested on his abdomen.

"Am I...?"

"Yeah."

"I see," Tesla whispered, "And is there any way to tell who is the father?"

Kisuke thought for a moment.

"There is, once the child's reiatsu becomes sentient, but until then, no."

"Oh."

Kisuke gave him a more friendly smile and released his restraints.

"Would you like to stay here and work for me until I can give you an answer to your question? You can have this room and I'll pay you some to get you started."

"Yes. That sounds more than fair, considering you've already helped me. Just...I don't want any hollows to be told I'm here. Not yet, anyway."

Kisuke gave him a concerned look.

"Ah, I have to ask. There's no chance this is Aizen's, is there? Aizen's? Gin's? Tousen's?"

"No. None of them touched me," Tesla replied, shaking his head, "Both of the ones I was with were Espadas...and one is dead. The other probably wouldn't want the child of the dead one, so..."

"So, we'll hope this turns out to be the living one's kid, ne?"

"Yes."

"Okay, so why don't you just get some more rest? When you're feeling up to it, Tessai will show you what you can do to help out around the shop."

I am well used to cooking and cleaning, and I'm used to sparring regularly. I would not like to be seen too much if that is all right."

"All right. That sounds fine for later, but you look like you've had some hard fights. Hope you didn't kill anyone I know."

"I didn't kill anyone. I never have, except before I became an Arrancar," Tesla confessed, "As much as I enjoy sparring, I don't want to kill anyone. That's another reason I came here. Hueco Mundo is falling into chaos."

"Yeah," Kisuke sighed, "It's gonna be nasty there for a while, while things get back under some kind of control. It's better that you're here, especially since you're carrying a child."

"I suppose I should admit that I did attack Ichigo Kurosaki on my master's order, but I did not kill him."

"It looks like you took in more than you dished out," Kisuke commented.

"That was courtesy of Kenpachi Zaraki."

"I see. And are you carrying a grudge for him slaughtering your master? You _are_ talking about Nnoitra Gilga, ne?"

"Y-yes, I was referring to Nnoitra. But, no, I do not hold a grudge against Kenpachi Zaraki. They chose to fight. My master was beaten fairly. And I have no grudge against Ichigo Kurosaki. He is, after all, responsible for casting Aizen down, which I think we can agree was in everyone's best interests."

"Yeah, we can agree on that," Kisuke said, smiling good-naturedly, "Now, you should lie down. I'll have Tessai bring you something to eat in a while."

"But I feel better already. Shouldn't I...?"

"Nah, get some more rest," Kisuke chuckled, rising and turning towards the door, "I promise you, we'll keep you busy later. If you don't mind, I'd like to study the method used to make you able to get pregnant. I have a few friends who might like to know how that works."

"Ah, of course. I will tell you whatever you want to know."

"All right. Just let Tessai know if you need anything."

"I will. Thank you."

Kisuke paused outside the door, glancing back at the young man and sighing sympathetically.

"Poor kid. Aizen really screwed everyone over, hollows and shinigamis alike."


	4. Burning Rage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Grimmjow learns the secret Tesla was keeping.

Grimmjow stirred in his sleep, sighing contentedly as he encountered a mental image of Tesla, as he had been when the two first met.

_As he laid under the crescent moon, looking lazily up into the stars, he felt a disturbance in the reiatsu around him, then blinked and sat up slowly. In the distance, two glowing forms were entangled, one more humanoid and the other looking like a large, feral dog. Grimmjow climbed to his feet and moved closer, watching as the canine hollow tore at the more humanoid one, making the young man scream in pain. But even hurt, the humanoid hollow continued to fight. And though obviously frightened, there was strategy in his movements._

_But strategy, Grimmjow knew, was not enough to win him the battle._

_He moved closer still, closing in on the two as the young man weakened and blood ran down his handsome, slender form. His eyes fierce, he continued to try to gain a position to hold the creature down, struggling to make attacks on its ears and eyes. Grimmjow spied a long knife at the young man's waist, unable to be used if he wanted to avoid taking fatal damage._

_"Tell you what," he said, crossing his arms, "You have the guts to go for your knife and I'll heal you if you beat him."_

_He already wanted to save the young man, but it was better, he thought, to leave him with some pride._

_At his words, new determination flooded the humanoid hollow's light-colored eyes. He twisted wildly, then shifted and lifted his left arm, leaving it vulnerable, as though by mistake. Instinctively, the dog hollow snapped at the young man's bare arm, clamping down until Grimmjow heard the bones snap. The young man screamed again, at the same time grabbing the knife with his remaining usable limb. The dog hollow sensed his move and turned swiftly to lunge at his now unprotected throat. The knife sank into the beast's open mouth, striking through the back and out, making blood explode around the two. But even as it died, the dog hollow twisted wildly and lunged again at the injured man. The humanoid hollow drew back and drove the knife into the beast's body, only to be faced with the dog hollow's open jaws and nothing he could do to save himself._

_There wasn't even time for him to cry out._

_The young man stared in shock as Grimmjow's foot appeared suddenly between the two and he kicked the dog hollow away from the injured man. He continued to stare in confused silence as the dog hollow whimpered and went still, and the elder hollow glared at him meaningfully._

_"You did pretty well," Grimmjow complimented him._

_"Are you going to devour me?" the younger man asked, his expression set, but neither fearful nor angry._

_"I don't know," Grimmjow chuckled, "You look pretty tasty, you know...although, it would be a waste to just eat you."_

_"S-sir?"_

_"What's your name?" he asked._

_The young man looked into his eyes quietly and Grimmjow felt a flicker of deep warmth he barely remembered._

_"My name is Tesla Lindocruz."_

_Grimmjow smiled._

_"Come with me, Tesla. I'll let you become one of my fraccìon."_

_"You...?"_

_"You're pretty strong, not a coward. I can find a use for you. Come on."_

_The young man slowly rose and took a stumbling step before collapsing at Grimmjow's feet._

_"Cute," the blue-haired hollow said in a amused tone, smirking as he lifted the unconscious man into his arms._

Grimmjow woke with a smile on his face and reached out to pull Tesla close to him. Encountering only open space, he frowned and opened his eyes to find his former fraccìon gone from the bed.

"Damn it..." he sighed, sitting up and scratching the back of his neck, "Again?"

He spotted the note on the bed and recognized the handwriting.

" _Grimmjow, thank you for saving my life and seeing to my healing. It was good being close to you again. I haven't gone on some pathetic search for Nnoitra. I know he is dead. I just need to work things out for myself. Please thank Nel and the others too. I would have died without all of your help and I am glad now to still be alive. I will come back to you if I can. Tesla_ ," he read, "Stupid ass..."

He looked up as Nel poked her head into the bedroom and looked questioningly at him.

"What is it? What do you want?" he asked, scowling.

"Nel came to give Tesla another healing. Where is Tesla? He didn't run away again, did he?"

Grimmjow sighed heavily.

"He didn't go back looking for Nnoitra," he said resignedly, "but he did leave."

"What?" Nel objected, "But Tesla is still very hurt and Tesla could die if Nel doesn't heal him more!"

"Don't worry about it," Grimmjow said unhappily, "He made his own decision. He wanted to go. He left. End of story."

"But Nel thought that Grimmjow was in love with Tesla! If Grimmjow loves Tesla, he shouldn't just let Tesla go away and die!"

"Would you get off my case?" Grimmjow snapped, "The guy is doing what he wants! And what the hell does it matter if I do love him? If it was mutual, then don't you think he would have stayed here? Besides, he didn't say he was leaving forever. He said he'd try to come back, so just lay off!"

Nel stared at him through wide, teary eyes that grew more teary and finally began to overflow. Grimmjow groaned as the toddler hollow loosed a devastated howl of despair.

"Oh shit, really?" he complained, "Stop it! Come on! He wanted to go! Why the hell are you making like it's my business to go and get him back?"

Nel sniffed loudly and wiped her eyes.

"Maybe because when Nnoitra took him away, you never went to bring him back!" she sobbed.

Grimmjow went still, staring at the smaller hollow and unable to speak for a moment as guilt throbbed achingly in his chest. Nel continued to carry on until her fraccìon appeared in the doorway.

"What's wrong, Master Nel?" they cried together.

Nel took a shuddering breath and sobbed out an explanation which left her two comrades also in tears.

"It's horrible!" cried Dondachakka, "Now, two times poor Tesla waited for Grimmjow to rescue him and he didn't save him!"

"If it was a storybook, I'd tear it to pieces!" sobbed Pesche, "It's the worst!"

"Morons..." Grimmjow said sullenly, recovering his voice, "Don't you get it? He doesn't want me. And if he doesn't want me, then I don't want to do something stupid by going after him. If he wants to come back, he will."

"B-but doesn't Grimmjow understand?" Nel asked, "Tesla left because Tesla had some kind of fear. Tesla was afraid of something and he couldn't explain to Grimmjow, so Tesla wrote that message and ran away. But Tesla really loves Grimmjow. Nel knows!"

"Oh, and what tells you that, Miss Smarty-Pants?" Grimmjow snapped, "How does a dingbat like you know anything about what Tesla feels?"

"Mm...Nel heard Tesla talking to Grimmjow while Grimmjow was sleeping once. Nel was spying and Nel saw Tesla touch Grimmjow's hair and whisper 'I love you' so quietly that Nel could barely hear."

"Yeah? You probably misheard him," Grimmjow surmised, shaking his head, "Why would he go away if he loved me?"

Nel looked more calmly into his eyes.

"Maybe Tesla has something Tesla is afraid would make Grimmjow mad at him. Nnoitra was mean to Tesla. Tesla isn't used to having someone be nice to Tesla anymore."

He had to admit, it actually made some sense.

_But what's he hiding that he thought would make me mad? I mean, I know he was obsessed with Nnoitra, but we're working through that. He's got nothing connecting him to Nnoitra anymore, so going away, unless he's going to somewhere he used to go with that freak, wouldn't make sense..._

_None of this fucking makes sense! What's he hiding? Why did he run off? Where the hell did he go with our world falling apart like it is. Unless he left Hueco Mundo, he's risking death!_

"Grimmjow?"

"Huh?" the blue-haired hollow grunted distractedly, still focusing on his own thoughts.

"Nel wonders something."

"Yeah, well, spit it out. I can't answer a question you don't ask," he complained.

"Does Grimmjow love Tesla?"

Grimmjow looked back at her as though she had hit him hard with something.

"Wh-what?" he muttered.

He shook his head to clear it and waved her off brusquely.

"J-just get off my back, okay? I've gotta get outta here. You guys are driving me crazy!"

He disappeared out the door, still dressed in his sleeping clothes. Nel watched as he left, then smiled at the recovering Pesche and Dondachakka.

"Grimmjow loves Tesla!" she announced happily, "Nel could see in Grimmjow's eyes even when Grimmjow yelled at Nel just now. Nel is sure. Grimmjow _really_ loves Tesla."

XXXXXXXXXX

"You've worked in a lab before," Kisuke said, noting the efficiency with which Tesla examined and logged the results of the shopkeeper's latest experiments into the computer, "Don't tell me you were pals with Szayel Aporro."

"That man was a monster," Tesla answered quietly, still gazing at the screen in front of him, "but I did learn a lot about scientific study when Nnoitra ordered me to help him with his experiments."

"Szayel, huh?" Kisuke repeated, frowning, "But why would Nnoitra be interested in any way in that creep? And why send you?"

"I was Nnoitra's fraccìon, so if he had an interest, but couldn't see to it, himself, he sent me. Usually, he had me act as an experimental subject, but the more deadly things Master Szayel would just have me observe and monitor results. Nnoitra wanted Szayel to come up with a way to kill Master Nel."

"Nice guy," Kisuke said softly, frowning curiously at how Tesla's hands trembled at the mention of his own former master.

 _The reports that came in from Hueco Mundo said he was an animal, and that he and Kenpachi Zaraki ripped each other to bits. Zaraki lived, Nnoitra died. And from what I know of fraccì_ on _, this kid probably wishes he'd died too._

"Sorry."

"It's fine," Tesla said, swallowing hard, "Master Nnoitra was cruel to me and everyone else. H-he said it would make us stronger. He told me that being to kind was a sign of weakness and would get me killed. Strangely, it was when I wouldn't back down from a fight when I nearly died."

"Did he know there might be a baby?" the shopkeeper inquired, noting the instant stiffening in Tesla's body at the question.

"He knew," Tesla said softly, "I didn't mean for him to know at first. I asked Szayel if he could cause me to become impregnated, so that I could honor my master with continuance...an heir, as it were."

"I guess he didn't take it so well?" Kisuke surmised.

"He was livid. He beat me and was about to make sure I could not have the child, if there was one. But word came of the arrival of the enemies, and we went into battle not knowing for certain. I only was sure there was a baby when you told me."

"But between the end of the battles and your arrival here, there was someone else you were with?"

"Yes," Tesla answered sadly, lowering his head.

"And you aren't sure he'd be any more open to having a child than your former master? S-sorry, I have to ask."

"It's fine," Tesla assured him, "And it isn't that I think he would hate me for having his child. I am just worried the baby is Nnoitra's and my other lover would not accept it."

"But you will...if the baby is his?"

Tesla closed his eyes for a moment and his body quivered in reaction.

"When a hollow dies on a shinigami blade, the soul is cleansed of its sin and goes on to Soul Society."

"Or hell," Kisuke added.

"Or hell," Tesla agreed, "Nnoitra was cruel, but only as cruel as he was to himself. And he believed that he was that way because it would make all of us stronger. I do not think that is an unpardonable thing like the things done that get a soul sent to hell."

"You're going to look for him in Soul Society?" Kisuke asked, giving him an oddly sympathetic look, "Even though you know he won't remember you at all?"

Tesla sighed.

"If the baby is his, I will have no one anyway. If the baby is his, I have no choice but to seek him."

"And if the baby is the other guy's?" Kisuke asked.

Tesla met the shopkeeper's eyes hopefully.

"If it is my other lover's, then I will go back to him."

"Well, it shouldn't be too long until you have your answer, one way or another. I will let you know as soon as I can sense anything," Kisuke promised.

"Thank you, Kisuke Urahara. You are a just man."

"Yeah," Kisuke chuckled, " _just_ trying to do the right thing here."

"And since when is _the right thing_ to help a hollow?" Tesla asked, frowning.

Kisuke smiled at him disarmingly.

"When the hollow's only trying to do the right thing too," he answered.

XXXXXXXXXX

Grimmjow walked slowly through the scattered ruins of Szayel Aporro's plundered lab, scowling at small bits of papers, broken pieces of equipment and trying to pick up any sign of Tesla's passage through the area.

"Come on, I know that asshole let Szayel do ugly shit to you here. You were here not so long ago, but you didn't come back. Well, it's on to your next old haunt, ne?" Grimmjow sighed, "Guess I should be glad you were always pretty much a creature of habit. That should make you easier for me to find."

He started out of the lab, but paused as he caught sight of Tesla's name on an opened and scattered file. Frowning, he picked up the file and studied the pages that hadn't fallen out. He winced and made a disgusted face at the descriptions of several of the experiments. Looking around, he saw more scattered and torn papers and began to sift through to find any that referred to his missing lover.

_Not that I really want to know what that horrific bastard did to Tesla, but...maybe I should know so that I can help him recover._

_Damn!_

_No one should have to endure shit like this. If Nnoitra wasn't dead, I would kill him for letting that freak do these things to Tesla._

His gut clenched as he inadvertently pictured the younger man suffering the horrors described on the pages.

 _But,_ he reminded himself, _I'm only reading this crap. Tesla lived through it._

He sighed softly and closed his eyes for a moment of relief to allow his insides to unclench. And when he opened them again, one word jumped out off one of the pages he held.

"Conception," he read, his voice catching on the word.

He studied the page more closely, taking in the list of readings before and after 'coitus.' Then, he closed his eyes and felt an unexpected burning, both there and in his chest.

 _If I had a heart, it would be exploding,_ he mused silently, _Nnoitra, you bastard, you deserve to die a thousand dishonorable deaths for what you assholes did to him._

Grimmjow looked down at the papers and set them on fire with just his furious glare. He left the ruined lab as fire swelled up behind him and engulfed the room, sending its hated contents into blazing oblivion.


	5. Aizen's Queen

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tesla provides Kisuke with critical information about Byakuya's missing cousin, who was a prisoner of Aizen's.

Tesla worked quietly at a cluttered desk in Kisuke's laboratory, entering data from several stacks of folders the shopkeeper had assigned to him. Kisuke moved between an experiment that seemed to involve several colorful and, if Tesla's sharper senses read right, dangerous compounds, and a smaller laptop that was hooked up to a huge computer storage bank. For the most part, the data that the Arrancar entered seemed tedious and dry, but as he worked his way through the files, he began to follow the pathway of the enigmatic shopkeeper's interests.

_I wonder if Mr. Urahara understands just how much is given away about him in these experiments. I am sure he must._

He lifted another of the files and opened it, then found himself stymied at the fact he recognized the face of the smiling young man pictured in the file.

_Aizen's queen._

He blinked and studied the image more closely, noting the large, gentle blue eyes, tumbled waves of black hair and pale skin. He remembered too, the crest of the Kuchiki family that marked the shoulder of the young man's navy colored uniform.

_I heard he was close to the head of the Kuchiki family._

His heart skittered in his chest as he remembered.

_Approaching footsteps made Szayel Aporro look up from where he leaned over Tesla's restrained form, drawing blood and reiatsu samples._

" _Lord Aizen?" the scientist inquired, his eyes coming to rest on the unconscious body of a young man who rested in Aizen's arms, "Is there something you need?"_

" _Yes," the leader of the hollows said in a smooth, emotionless tone, "I want you to run complete tests on all of this man's systems. I warn you not to allow him to be harmed in any way."_

_Szayel nodded briefly._

" _You can lay him down over there."_

_Tesla's head turned to watch as the unconscious shinigami was set on an examination table beside his and heavily restrained._

" _What is your interest in this shinigami, my lord?" Szayel asked._

" _I am curious about him," Aizen explained, "I met him once while at Kuchiki Manor and later learned that he is a descendant of one of the Breeder Males of noble legend."_

" _A Breeder Male?" Aporro repeated, his eyes flickering with deep interest, "I have heard of them, but I was sure I read that they were all destroyed after Central 46 deemed the practice of making them unnatural and unlawful."_

" _That is true," Aizen affirmed, "but Tetsuya is the descendant of a Breeder Male who seems to have developed the ability naturally. This was rumored, but I had never heard of there being documentation, because the practice of making Breeder Males is still outlawed and the fact of natural Breeder Males existing is not something the noble families want to advertise."_

" _Ah, I see. So, you want a full analysis?"_

" _Yes. You will find that Tetsuya's body has been seeded. I want you to document the development of any growing reiatsu in the spirit chamber in his body. You will need to keep him unconscious and heavily protected. No one is to know that he is here."_

"Is everything okay there?" Kisuke asked suddenly, breaking Tesla out of his reverie.

"Um…"

The shopkeeper stood and approached the Arrancar, tilting his head slightly as he studied the image of the man in the file Tesla showed him. The expression on Kisuke's usually calm face shifted from curious to wary.

"You know him?" the shopkeeper asked, a tension coming into his voice, "Did you see him in Las Noches?"

"Yes," Tesla answered softly, "He was captured some months before the war, reconnoitering for the shinigamis."

"Yeah, that's about when he disappeared," Kisuke sighed, "He was shadowing his cousin, who is the head of the Kuchiki clan, and the group ran into trouble. Tetsuya used his powers to provide protection as the group evacuated, but…he never came back after. No one here knows what happened to him. Do you know what happened to him?"

Tesla took a little breath and nodded.

" _Aizen's Queen_ ," he said solemnly, earning a darkly curious look from Kisuke, "That is what they called the beautiful shinigami that our leader captured and imprisoned. Some thought that Orihime Inoue was Aizen's obsession, and it is true that he was possessed of understanding the girl's power. But his interest in his queen was different. He kept close protections around Tetsuya and forced him to submit to extensive testing in the hands of Szayel Aporro."

Kisuke's eyes closed for a moment and his face paled notably.

"Aizen learned he was a naturally born Breeder Male," the shopkeeper concluded.

"Yes."

Kisuke took a steadying breath.

"Is Tetsuya alive?"

Tesla studied the shopkeeper's still wary, but now slightly hopeful expression.

"He was when I last saw him," Tesla answered.

"In Aporro's lab?"

"Yes," Tesla said, nodding, "But you should not get your hopes up. I don't know what Aizen did to him, besides using him to make a child, but his queen never spoke, and his eyes looked dead."

"It sounds like Aizen used Kyoka Suigetsu to keep Tetsuya under his control," Kisuke concluded.

"I believe so."

Kisuke considered for a moment, then let out a frustrated breath.

"We went through Aporro's lab. It was destroyed and we found no sign of Tetsuya. There was nothing in the papers that we recovered and nothing in the computers that weren't already smashed."

"Aizen was clear that no one was to know he was there," Tesla repeated, "That meant Master Szayel gave all records directly to Lord Aizen and he kept no trace in the lab."

Kisuke frowned and shook his head in confusion.

"You say that Aizen didn't want anyone to know Tetsuya was there, but you know…"

"I was Aporro's assistant and sometimes his research subject," Tesla explained, "I was considered beneath notice. And Aporro warned me that if I opened my mouth, he would cut out my tongue and feed it to me through a tube."

"So, you kept quiet about what you saw?"

"Yes."

Tesla gave Kisuke a measured look.

"I don't know if you really want to know what they did to him," he reasoned, "You may be comforted to know that, aside from Aizen impregnating him and Aporro keeping close tabs on his gestation, no one touched him. I don't think Lord Aizen was in love with him. His interest in his queen seemed completely scientific."

" _Bastard_!" Kisuke hissed, slamming a hand down on the desk.

He worked for several moments, gathering himself.

"You are in love with Tetsuya?" Tesla asked softly.

Kisuke's teeth clenched.

"Yeah."

"He may still be alive," Tesla informed him, "You see, when Aizen was preparing to leave, he ordered Aporro to place his queen is stasis and provide a seal that no one but he could break."

Tesla found himself almost smiling at the look of determination that had come into the shopkeeper's eyes.

_This is it._

_This is what love looks like when it is real._

_I wonder if this is what Grimmjow and I look like when we are together._

"Tesla, do you think you can help me find Tetsuya?" Kisuke asked.

Tesla's eyes closed and he felt an ache in his chest as he remembered Grimmjow's strong embrace.

_Grimmjow is going to be really angry with me._

"Look, if you need a little incentive, I may be able to do something for you."

Tesla looked up at the shopkeeper curiously.

"I need to find Tetsuya and you need closure," Kisuke reasoned, "If you help me find Tetsuya, I'll help you try to find Nnoitora in Soul Society, so that you can…well, so that you can get closure, or whatever you need."

"I don't know if I want to find Nnoitora," Tesla answered honestly, "but you have already helped me, so I will help you. I will show you where the queen was kept."

"Thanks," Kisuke said in a relieved tone, "But I'm going to ask you for one thing more."

Tesla gave him a questioning look.

"Never call him Aizen's queen again," Kisuke said sadly, "His name is Tetsuya Kuchiki."

"Of course," Tesla replied, looking down at the picture of Tetsuya's smiling face again, "My apologies for being rude to you and to him. It's just that was how I was ordered to refer to him. Old habits are hard to let go."

"Yeah," Kisuke agreed, touching Tetsuya's pictured face with a gentle fingertip, "they are."

XXXXXXXXXX

Grimmjow turned his back to Las Noches, heading out, across the sand dunes, his mind as tired as his body as he mulled over the uselessness of the day's search.

_I don't know what the hell's wrong with me. I know Tesla's gone and I know why. He may be knocked up with Nnoitora's spawn, and he thinks I'll hate him for it. I'll admit that I don't like the idea of bastard's like Nnoitora having kids, but it's not the kid's fault his father is a bastard. Plenty of kids grow up to be better than their parents._

_Tesla shouldn't worry about me hating him._

He thought back to their lovemaking, an aching warmth swelling in his chest and loins as he remembered how good it felt to sleep, wrapped around his lover's body.

_After all this time, I admit I still crave his body. I love him. I love him so much that I stupidly let him go, because I didn't want to hurt him, taking him back from Nnoitora. Dumbest choice I ever made._

_I wonder if he'll come back._

He walked slowly, enjoying the darkness around him and stealing glances at the starry sky and bright crescent moon.

_After I let him have a piece of my mind, I'm going to bed with him. And we are never, ever getting out of that bed again. And if he wants kids, I'll give him that. I'll make Tesla so happy, he'll forget Nnoitora ever existed._

A little edge of doubt crept into his thoughts.

_Except that if Tesla's having a kid and it is Nnoitora's, that's going to make that happily ever after a little awkward. Still, for a hollow to be trying to make a happily ever after is kind of stupid anyway. We're hollows. And we're hollows because when we were humans or shinigamis, we left unfinished business. We don't have hearts anymore…at least, not the kind that beat. The only way to get our hearts back is to succumb to a shinigami's blade, and we're not doing that. I guess this is what is for us, then._

Grimmjow blinked in surprise and came to a stop as he realized that someone was blocking his path.

"You," he growled softly, baring his teeth, "fucking scavengers!"

He sensed the others surrounding him and tensed, his finger and toenails lengthening and sharpening in reaction.

"You shouldn't be wandering around here with your guard down," the dark haired hollow facing him snarled, "I don't know if you've heard, but it's every hollow for himself around here."

"That why it takes a hundred of you little trolls to attack me?" Grimmjow scoffed, "Go ahead. I'll eat every damned one of you!"

"I doubt that very much," the other hollow laughed, "Not all of us. There's no way. I don't care that you used to be one of the monster, Aizen's Espadas. Our power is greater than yours."

"We'll see about that!" Grimmjow hissed, bursting forward and slashing at his adversary.

Instantly, the ones around him closed in, clawing and some of them firing ceros. Some struck other hollows, tossing them away, but several shocked Grimmjow's recently healed body, and he felt the tearing of his flesh as a number of attacks reached him.

_Damn it!_

_What I wouldn't give to have my gran rey cero right now. It's insulting to be torn apart by these disgusting little vermin, but that's always a danger here._

He managed to throw off enough of the attacking hollows to get to his feet. More coursed in around him, trying to bring him down again, but Grimmjow's reiatsu flared, knocking enough of them aside to gain a step and turn.

_I'm not running away from these little fucks!_

Even knowing the others still had the advantage, he was loathe to run, so he gathered blue reiatsu around his clawed hands and charged at the horde of hollows, slashing wildly and killing a goodly number of them before crashing down onto the sand. Instantly, at least twenty of the hollows threw themselves down on him, tearing at his flesh and screaming insanely at the power they began to feed on.

"You wanna eat something, EAT THIS!" Grimmjow howled, loosing more of his reiatsu and making the hollows feeding on him swell grotesquely before their engorged bodies exploded, "You like that? Keep coming! There's more where that came from!"

He wasn't sure just what it was that seemed to snap inside him, but the power that erupted from his body was nearly white and completely uncontrolled.

 _Shit_.

The white power bloomed outward, swallowing up the attacking horde and burning them away as they shrieked in surprise and horror. Grimmjow made a sound of pain, trying desperately to contain himself, but the hot, white reiatsu began to burn him too. Just as he began to panic, he heard a feminine sound of distress, then a sucking sound. He had a quick flash image of a female form, flanked by two other tensed forms and surrounded in light, then heat flashed over him again as the woman turned her head and forcefully expelled the power she had swallowed, completely obliterating several sand dunes in the process.

"F-fuck," he panted, grabbing at the sand as he looked dazedly up at Nel's adult form.

"Are you all right, Grimmjow?" Nel asked calmly.

"Do I fucking look all right to you?" Grimmjow snapped, "I'm shredded here, you idiot!"

Nel nodded briefly, then her power rose around her again, and she shifted to her younger, toddler self. Seeing this, Grimmjow backed away on hands and knees, raising a bleeding arm.

"Aw, no you don't! Don't, Nel!" he hissed, "AUGH!"

He made a sound of disgust as the toddler opened her mouth and expelled a blast of slimy saliva.

"Ugh! I told you no!" he gasped, choking on the mess and retching, "Fuck!"

"Nel is sorry, Grimmjow," the tot said sympathetically, "But Nel doesn't want Grimmjow to die."

Grimmjow glared at her and spat, then grudgingly accepted Pesche's hand, helping him to his feet.

"You were pretty much going to die, you know," Pesche teased him, "You should be nicer to Master Nel."

"She should find a better way to heal people!" Grimmjow complained, "Damn it! I'm covered in vomit!"

"It's not vomit. It's just saliva," Nel assured him, "And look, Grimmjow's hurts are getting better."

"Yeah, yeah, I know," Grimmjow huffed irascibly, heading towards Nel's home, "Can I just go and take a shower now? I feel like crap. I smell like crap. All I want is to get this shit off of me!"

"You should really wait until it heals some more," Dondachakka advised him.

"I'm fine. Get away from me! I've had enough healing, thank you!"

"Well," Dondachakka mused as Grimmjow pushed past them, "at least he said thank you."

"I think he was being sarcastic," Pesche said, rolling his eyes, "You know, Master Nel, I don't know why you put up with that guy. He's rude and disgusting and mean to everyone."

"Nel thinks Grimmjow is mean to everyone because Grimmjow is afraid of people hurting Grimmjow."

"Huh?" Dondachakka said, scratching his head.

"If Grimmjow makes everyone go away, no one can hurt Grimmjow," Nel added, "but then Grimmjow is lonely. Nel thinks Grimmjow needs Tesla to come back."

"Yeah," said Pesche, "Good luck with that. With the way he acts, why would Tesla come back to him?"

Nel grinned.

"Tesla loves Grimmjow, and Grimmjow loves Tesla. Grimmjow and Tesla need to find each other. Nel wants to help."

"All right," Pesche sighed, giving her a tired, but affectionate smile, "If Master Nel wants to waste her time getting Tesla together with that brute, I guess we can help."


End file.
